Friday, February 5, 2010

Choosing a spouse

In the name of Allah the Most Merciful the Compassionate
Notes on "Choosing a Spouse" by Shaykh Husain Abdul Sattar.

Importance of establishing a home, in the Qur'an a home is defined as a place of peace. That peace provides us with several benefits a) Protects us from fitna
b)
Preserves our Deen

We control the home. We cannot go out and change the world when our own house is disorderly. First step in preparing the home is choosing a spouse. Who is going to be your partner to establish a home in the way you would want it. Prophet SAWS; not only advised people after or before to get married but how to choose a partner. Nothing in this world will be with you in the here after cars, money, masjid but your spouse will be with you permanently. Having a positive relationship. When your choosing a partner, your really choosing who is going to be a partner with you to please Allah (swt) to admit you in his gardens. There's a certain amount you can do a lone. But if you have a strong spouse if your down they can pick you up. And if they are down you can pick them up
If people are involved in the marriage are good, good will come of it. Peace, tranquility establish of a home a establish of deen. When looking at a person they're so complex. They have so many characteristics.
When choosing a spouse you should choose 4things.
1)
the wealth
2)
beauty
3)
lineage
4
) look at the religion of the person.
The Prophet (SAWS) advised to simply the formula, the real thing you should look at is the religion. In the end that's the true wealth in the end that's the true lineage and in the end that's the true beauty. If the person is righteous their lineage will be taking back to the Sahabah, in the since that group of e people you will be raised up with. And you have family in this dunya (current life) and the members of the family will be all the believers and the Prophet will be the Father. True lineage does have some bearing.. and its important to look at that. But actually if you can look at Deen than it has its own lineage as well. Similarly the true wealth lies in Deen. Establishes for the individual
permanent bounties. Look at the beauty of a person, the body isn't permanent but the soul is. The beauty of the body will depend on the soul. The body will be beautiful because the soul will be beautiful. Beauty is something we judge in this world but the beauty of the religion is the most beautiful because its the permanent.
In this world there is a special noor that attracts the righteous. In the beginning you meet someone you interact with people with the body. Then later on you interact with the souls. In the end its the soul that matters. The Prophet (SAWS) is trying to high light there are some external things you can look at but the key is the soul. Another hadith, a righteous wife who can help you with your worldly and religious affairs is the best treasure anyone could have. She provides you benefit in both places, (this world &here after).
In another hadith the Prophet (SAWS) said each one of you have three things.
1. Each and every one of you should have a thankful heart. You are constantly thanking Allah (Swt). A benefit to a thankful heart is an increase to the individual. If you thank, Allah will increase you. Two times Allah increases you, when you have a lot and when you don't, i.e lacking in money. Do not complain but be thankful for what you have which subsequently will give you more. This goes a long the same line with the mental state of a person. Even with the deficiency of a person when a person doesn't quite fulfill in his Deen but still remain thankful. "Even though I missed prayer, Ya Allah thank you for allowing me to pray at a later time." To even have the mindset that prayer is important". And with that type of attitude Allah will help you, at times instead of thinking there's a dis connect in which shaytan wants you to think that.
2. A remembering tongue, Constantly the tongue should be remembering the person who feeds it. Allah will be quick to descend his blessing upon a person. Every time you use you tongue it should be in some way or form for Allahs sake. Never complain, only good that comes from it. Whether saying something good to a someone else its prohibiting something bad or raising the great name of Allah (SWT). Three ways we use our tongue and are all considered dhikr. 3. Strive for a believing wife. The type that help you get to the here after. A person will remind you when you're at a low stage.
The Prophet (SAWS) said don't pick a bad spouse. One of the elements of happiness is a righteous wife. When you see her you are pleased and you can trust her with your provisions when you are gone. One of the elements of a bad wife, is she makes you miserable and attacks you with her tongue. When you are gone you fear for your things. Attain the pinnacle in this life, is picking the proper spouse.
Two other things to regard.
1) For the people that aren't yet married, look for sincerity. If you see someone that's more righteous go for them do not put emphasis on the beauty or wealth of a person that has less piety. Apply it with sincerity, not just reflect and disregard it.
Strive to be righteous to get a righteous a spouse. Allah will provide for you, if you are sincere in a righteous thing. Be sincere and rectify yourself so Allah may make you amongst those who are better. Give us an opportunity to be those who are raised with our spouses on judgement and be admitted into Jennah.

Dua,
May Allah allow us to strive and struggle for His cause in everything we do whether its knowledge or our own egos. And make us of those who not only receive the knowledge but implement it. Allahuma Ameen Ya Rab.

History of Valentines Day... You be the Judge!

Bismi-llāhi ar-Raħmāni ar-Raħīmi

Do you know what Valentine's is all about? Do you know how it came about? Most importantly, do you know what you're celebrating?


Valentine article.
Legends abound, as they do in all such cases, but this much is clear: Valentine’s Day began as a pagan ritual started by Romans in the 4th century BCE to honour Lupercus, the ‘god of fertility and flocks’. Its main attraction was a lottery held to distribute young women to young men for ‘entertainment and pleasure’ - until the next year’s lottery.

Among other equally despicable practices associated with this day was the lashing of young women by two young men, clad only in a bit of goatskin and wielding goatskin thongs, who had been smeared with the blood of sacrificial goats and dogs. A lash of the ‘sacred’ thongs by these ‘holy men’ was believed to make the women better able to bear children.

As usual, Christianity tried, unsuccessfully, to end the evil celebration of Lupercalia. It first replaced the lottery of the names of women with a lottery of the names of saints. The idea was that during the following year the young men would emulate the life of the saint whose name they had drawn. Christianity ended up doing in Rome, and elsewhere, as the Romans did.

The idea that you can preserve the appearance of a popular evil and yet somehow turn it to serve the purpose of virtue has survived. Look at all those people who are still trying, helplessly, to use the formats of popular television entertainment to promote good. They might learn something from this episode in history. It failed miserably.

The only success it had was in changing the name of Lupercalia to St Valentine’s Day. It was done in the year 496 by Pope Gelasius, in honour of one Saint Valentine. However, there are as many as 50 different Valentines in Christian legends. Two of them are more famous, although their lives and characters are also shrouded in mystery.

According to one legend, which is more in line with the true nature of this celebration, St Valentine was a ‘lover’s saint’ who had himself fallen in love with his jailer’s daughter.

Due to serious troubles that accompanied such lottery, French government banned the Valentine ritual in 1776. It also vanished over the years in Italy, Austria, Hungry, and Germany. Earlier, during the 17th century when the Puritans were strong it had been banned in England, but King Charles II revived it in 1660.

From England the Valentine ritual arrived in the New World, where enterprising Yankees spotted a good means of making money. Esther A Howland who produced, in the 1840s, one of the first commercial American Valentine Day cards called - what else valentines sold $5,000 worth in the first year. (Then $5,000 was a lot of money.) The valentine industry has been booming ever since.

-Courtesy of Sis Shiqpe Palloshi.-

The same implies for Christmas and Halloween.
Logically, if you really love someone then everyday can be Valentine's day. If you really love to give, then everyday can be Christmas and if you want to dress up as a monster then do so at a photo studio. LOL. Some Muslims are indulging themselves in practices that they regard as innocent fun when they are actually cultural practices that may symbolize unbelief or they could be rooted in paganism. These ideas/ practices may have been products of superstitions and may be a negation to what Islam stands for.

< I didn't write any of this, May Allah bless the person who did and bless their family in Dunya and the Here-After. Ameen.